Funny Quotes Collection | Quotsagram

I admit that my level of weirdness is above the national average, but I'm comfortable with that.

I'm not everyone's cup of tea... But I drink coffee. So f**k them.

It's been a rough week. But I didn't need bail money and I don't have a body count, so it could have been worse.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

I don't understand your specific kind of crazy, but I do admire your total commitment to it.

'As f**k' is my favorite unit of measurement.

Raising kids is like walk in the park. Jurassic park.

This is the Mondayest Monday that ever Mondayed.

I just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in the car, while using my phone as a torch.

What doesn't kill you disappoints me.

I don't trust joggers. They're always the ones who find dead bodies. Just saying.

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an over grown man child who can't take care of himself.

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think "Oh, no it's a cop?"

If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know, that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.

Arguing with a woman is like reading the software license agreement. In the ened, you ignore everything and click "I agree".

Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.

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Good Morning Quotes Collection #11 | Quotsagram

Successful people have two things on their lips, "SILENCE and SMILE". Smile to solve problem and silence to avoid problem. Good Morning...

If you think positive... Sound becomes music... Movement becomes dance... Smile becomes laughter... and Life becomes celebration... Good Morning... Good Day...

Be thankful for everybody in your life. Good or bad. Past or present. They all made you the person that you are today. Good Morning.

The secret to a great day is a positive start. Good Morning. Have a great day.

Respect the old when you are young. Help the weak when you are strong. Confess the fault when you are wrong. Because one day in life you will be OLD, WEAK and WRONG.

Education is not the name of any degree or certificate that can be shown to others as a proof. But, it is the name of our attitude, actions, language, behavior and personality with others in real life. Have a nice day... Good Morning.

The biggest suspense of life is that... You don't know who is 'Praying' for you and who is 'Playing' with you. Good Morning.

A smile is a way of writing your thoughts on your face, telling others that they are accepted, liked and appreciated... So here's a big smile just for you... Have A Beautiful Day.

There is no enemy outside our soul. The real enemies live inside us. Anger, pride, greed and hate. Avoid them and enjoy a peaceful life. Good Morning.

The life we lead is the lesson we teach. Good Morning.

Smile is the electricity and life is a battery. Whenever you smile. the battery gets charged and a beaiutiful day is activated. So keep smiling. Good Morning. Have a wonderful day..

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Good Morning Quotes Collection #8 | Quotsagram

The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.

Work for a cause, Not for applause... Live life to express, Not to impress... Don't strive to make your presence noticed, Just make your absence felt... Good Morning

There is no royal road to success. But, after success, every road becomes royal. Happy Morning.

We don't always need advice. Sometimes all we need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand. Good Morning.

Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life. Good morning.

Bridge and Wall are made with the same material, but bridge joins people and wall divides the people... Choose the right one. Good Morning.

Life is not qualified by branded clothes or a rich lifestyle. It is measured by the number of faces who smile when they hear your name. Good Morning.

If you have choice, then choose the best. If you have no choice, then do the best. Good Morning.

You will be a beautiful person, as long as you see the beauty in others... Have a nice day. Good Morning.

A drop of water in lake has no identity, but if it is on leaf of lotus, it shines like pearl. Be in the best place where you can shine. Good Morning.

Life is a fingerprint that cannot be duplicated; so make the best impression with it. Live it, Love it and don't waste a single moment in your life because time has no holiday, dreams have no expiry date and life has no pause button. Good Morning.

Any person can make you realise how wonderful the world is.. But only few will maek you realise how wonderful you are in the world... Care for those few.. Good Morning. Have  a wonderful day..

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Good Morning Quotes Collection #4 | Quotsagram

Good Morning my friend... You are always in my thoughts..Wishing you a wonderful day.

Ever moment has love in it; every hour has happiness in it. If you loose it, it becomes memory; and if you live it, it becomes life. Good Morning.

As you wake up today, remember you are created to succeed, designed to win, equipped to overcome, anointed to prosper and blessed to become a blessing! Good Morning.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. Good Morning.

To make difference in someone's life, you don't have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect... you just have to care... Good Morning.

Begin the day with a broad smile on your face. Have a nice day!

Life is really very simple. What we give out we get back. Every thought we think is creating our future. Good Morning.

Once man asked God, "Give me everything to enjoy Life". God replied "I have given you life to enjoy everything". Have a nice day

 

Understand, you're one with nature. The same force that allows trees to grow and flowers to bloom exists within you too. Good Morning.

Nothing in the nature lives for itself. Rivers don't drink their own water. Trees don't eat their own fruit. The sun doesn't shine for itself. A flower's fragrance is not for itself. Living for each other is the rule of nature. Good Morning.

Every day is a fresh start. Wake up with a grateful heart. Good morning.

There are many beautiful people in this world.Never forget you are one of them. Good Morning.

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Thanksgiving Quotes Collection | Quotsagram

Give thanks not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every day of your life. Appreciate and never take for granted all that you have. -Catherine Pulsifer

Thanksgiving is the holiday that encompasses all others. All of them, from Martin Luther King Day to Arbor Day to Christmas to Valentine’s Day, are in one way or another about being thankful. -Jonathan Safran Foer

Thanksgiving offers us an annual pause from the pace of life return to places we do not often visit and gather with people we do not often see. -Jay Milbrandt

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.-William Arthur Ward

When you express gratitude and appreciation, you change your mindset. When you feel grateful for everything you have, no matter how small it is, and you allow yourself to feel this gratitude, you will receive more of what you are asking for. -Lisa Townsend

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. -Marcel Proust

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. -John F. Kennedy

The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook, chop, braise and blanch. Then it’s gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sort of in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up. -Ted Allen

I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.-Henry David Thoreau

Thanksgiving day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude. -E.P. Powell

We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning. -Albert Barnes

There is no better opportunity to receive more than to be thankful for what you already have. Thanksgiving opens the windows of opportunity for ideas to flow your way. -Jim Rohn

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Bicycle and Cycling Quotes Collection #2 | Quotsagram

You know you're a cyclist, when someone asks you your plans for the weekend and you respond in miles.

Bicycling is the nearest approximation I know to the flight of birds. Louis J. Helle Jr

The bicycle is a curious vehicle, its passenger is its engine.

"I have too many bikes", said no cyclist, ever.

And then God said, "Let there be sexy people". So he made cyclists in Lycra.

Crashing is a part of cycling as crying is part of love. -Johan Museeuw

Cycling is so difficult when you have to and so easy when you want to.

The bicycle has a soul. If you succeed to love it, it will give you emotions that you will never forget. -Mario Cipollini

Cycling is just like church; many attend, but few understand. -Jim Burlant

A smile will get you pretty far... But a smile and a bicycle will get you farther.

If you ride bicycle, you realize quickly that often idiots sit in the cars. -Fabian Cancellara

Weather forecasts can be broken down into two categories: good biking weather and bad biking weather.

It doesn't matter what age you are, what size you are, how fit you are, the colour of your skin, Cycling is a sport for everyone.

I cycle. I'm slower than a herd of tortoises stampeding through peanut butter, but I cycle.

Ride. It's cheaper than medical bills.

When in doubt, Pedal it out.

Bicycling is life with the volume turned up.

A bicycle ride is a flight from sadness. -James E. Starrs

I don't have a bucket list, but my bikeit list is miles long.

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Happy Friendship Day Quotes Collection | Quotsagram

Friendship is the ability to talk total non-sense and have that non-sense respected. Happy Friendship day wishes to all of my friends.

There are friends and there are best friends.  Every one has friends, the lucky ones have best friends. Lucky to have a best friend..  Happy friendship day wishes..

Every one has a friend during each stage of life, but only the lucky ones have the same friend in all stages of life. happy friendship day

We laugh at the dumbest jokes, put up with each others worst mood, go along with the craziest ideas, that's what makes us the most amazing best friends. Happy Friendship day.

Though miles may lie between us, we are never far apart, for friendship doesn't count miles. It's measured by the heart. Happy friendship day.

Friends come and go like waves of the ocean,but the true ones stick, like an octopus on your face. Wishing you a Happy friendship day.

Thank you for standing by my side when times get hard. Thank you for making me laugh when I didn't ever want to smile. Thank you for being my best best friend. Happy friendship day wishes my friend.

A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. Wish you a very happy Friendship day...

F-Few  R-Relations  I-In  E-Earth  N-Never  D-Die  Happy Friendship day wishes...

Friends are angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly..Happy Friendship day.

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Good Morning Quotes Collection #7 | Quotsagram

It feels good to hear someone say "take care"; but it feels so much better to hear someone say I will take care of you. Good morning.

Some flowers blossom best in the sun, others do well in shades. Remember... God puts us where we grow best. Enjoy the life in every situation. Good Morning.

As the sky breaks into lovely sunrise, May God open the heaven to shower you with lots of love and happiness to make your day a blessed one. Good Morning.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Good Morning.

Never get disappointed when things happened beyond your expectation. Remember that the greatest glory in life is rising when you fall. Be strong and have faith. Good morning

Pure heart is the greatest temple in the world. Don't believe the smiling face, but believe the smiling heart, they are very rare in this world... Happy morning.

Money says earn me. Calendar says turn me. Time says plan me. Future says win me. Beauty says love me. But, God simply says, work hard and trust me. Good Morning.

A wish for peace and happiness today and throughout the coming year! Have a wonderful day.

Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Very very happy good morning.

Be happy with the little that you have. There are people with nothing that still manage to smile.

May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Happy Morning.

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us. Good Morning.

Your dream doesn't have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again. Good Morning.

Trust is the glue of life. It's the foundation principle that holds all relationships. Good Morning.

Alphabet 'O' stands for 'opportunity', which is absent in yesterday, available in today and thrice in tomorrow. Never lose Hope... Good Morning..

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Good Morning Quotes Collection #13 | Quotsagram

In happy moments, praise God In difficult moments, seek God In quiet moments, worship God In painful moments, trust God. In every moment, thank God Good Morning.

Rain drops may be little in shape and size. But their continuous fall makes a river overflow... Remember small consistent efforts makes massive changes in life... Have a stress-free day. Good Morning.

God uses broken things beautifully; broken clouds pour rain, broken soil sets as fields, broken crop yield seeds, broken seeds give life to new plants. So when you feel you are broken, be rest assured that God is planning to utilize you for something great.

We always feel that life of others is better than us, but we always forget that we are also others for someone else. Good Morning.

Mistakes, failures, insult, frustration and rejections are part of progress and growth. No body ever achieved anything worthwhile without facing these five things.

To be the best, you must be able to handle the worst. Good Morning.

Sometimes what you want isn't what you get; but in the end, what you get is so much better than what you wanted. Good Morning.

No matter how bad things are. You can at least be happy that you woke up this morning... Good Morning. Have a Happy Day.

Whatever may be your age, if you are planning for tomorrow, you are still young to achieve it. good Morning.

No candle loses its light while lighting another candle. Never stop sharing, caring and helping others; because it makes our life more meaningful. Good morning.

Every morning is God's way of telling you that your purpose in life is yet to be fulfilled. You are very special. Good Morning.

If you could call 'failure' as another lesson in life and learn it well, your life would always be on learning process.

Opportunity is everywhere... The key is to develop the vision to see it. Good Morning.

A smile to start your day... A prayer to bless your way... A song to lighten your burden... A message to wish you good day. Good Morning.

Relationship doesn't shine by shaking hands in best time, But it blossoms by holding hands firmly in critical situations. Good Morning.

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True Friendship Quotes Collection | Quotsagram

Good friends care for each other, close friends understand each other, but true friends stay forever... Beyond words, beyond distance and beyond time.

A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the Limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the Limo breaks down. -Oprah Winfrey

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. -Dave Tyson Gentry

True friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences.

True friendship is never serene. -Marquise de Sevigne

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. -Thomas Aquinas

Time and good friends are two things that become more valuable the older you get.

Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. Instead they smile and call you something even more offensive.

A true friend may not be able to solve all of your problems, but you won't have to face them alone.

A true friend is the only person who never gets tired of listening to your own pointless dramas over and over again.

True friendship takes us by the hand and reminds us we are not alone in the journey.

Side by side or miles apart, real friends are always close to the heart.

If you find someone who makes you smile, who checks up on you often to see if you're okay, who watches out for you and wants the very best for you, don't let them go. Keep them close and don't take them for granted. People like that are hard to find.

True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.

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Best Friend Quotes Collection | Quotsagram

There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family.

A best friend is someone who loves you when you have forgotten how to love yourself.

There is no distance too far between friends, for friendship gives wings to the heart. -Kathy Kay Benudiz

Best friends... make the good times better and the hard times easier.

A good friend will be there to calm you down when you are mad, but a best friend will be holding a shovel asking "Do you think the hole is deep enough?"

True friendship isn't about being inseparable, it's being separated and nothing changes.

A good friend knows all your stories. A best friend helped you write them.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

Fake friends believe in rumors. Real friends believe in you.

Best friends never get apart, may be in distance but never in heart.

Good friends are those who care without hesitation and who love even without communication.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.

Friends ask why you're crying...best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

Best friends: They know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.

Strangers think I'm quiet.. My friends think I'm out-going.. My best friends know that I'm completely insane..

Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us..

Girls can survive without a boyfriend but they can't survive without a best friend.

If you hurt my best friend, I can make your death look like an accident.

Best friends are like fairy tales. They are the ones, who've been there since once up on a time and will be there until forever after.

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Good Morning Quotes Collection #15 | Quotsagram

If the path is beautiful, first confirm where it leads; but if the destination is beautiful, don't bother how the path is. Just keep moving. Good morning.

The day always look brighter from behind a smile. Enjoy your day... Good Morning.

May your new day be filled with happiness, love, goodwill and all kinds of success. Happy Morning.

Performance always comes from the passion and not from the pressure. Always be passionate. Love what you do and do what you love. Good Morning.

Happiness is a crazy mathematics, because it multiplies when you divide it. Good Morning.

Life is beautiful. One day, one hour and one minute will not come again in your entire life. Avoid fights, angriness and speak lovely to every person. Good Morning.

Everyday is special if you think so. Every moment is memorable if you feel so. Everyone is unique if you see so. life is beautiful. If you live so. Think positive and live happy... Celebrate life! Good Morning.

Money says earn me. Calendar says turn me. Time says plan me. Future says win me. Beauty says love me. But God simply says, Work hard and trust me. Good Morning.

Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences. Good Morning

A smile is the light in the window of your soul. Good Morning.

Never be too proudy, never be too bossy. Always remember you live in a planet that has gravity. What goes up will definitely come down. Good Morning.

Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind. Good Morning.

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