Some people should introduce their upper lip to their lower lip sometime and just shut up.
My friend thinks he's smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut on his face.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons.. they forgot to mention morons.
A recent study has found that one in three men are just as stupid as the other two.
There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who are good at math and those who aren't.
Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength, I'll need bail money too.
Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They'll never tell anyone, because they aren't even listening.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't.
I recently applied for a part time job at a mental hospital. Now I'm there full time and they won't let me leave.
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them in the face and said, "Tooth fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny" and walked away like a boss.
My friend thinks he's smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut on his face.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons.. they forgot to mention morons.
A recent study has found that one in three men are just as stupid as the other two.
There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who are good at math and those who aren't.
Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength, I'll need bail money too.
Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They'll never tell anyone, because they aren't even listening.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't.
I recently applied for a part time job at a mental hospital. Now I'm there full time and they won't let me leave.
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them in the face and said, "Tooth fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny" and walked away like a boss.
