| Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. |
| I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. |
| In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. |
| Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. |
| When you become senile, you won't know it. |
| The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now. |
| Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. |
| I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there. |
| People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on. |
| Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage; the wife is in charge. |
| Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. |
| Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. |
| The essence of childhood, of course, is play. |
| Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice. |
| The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it. |
| People say "God will find a way". God can't find a way, if you're in the way. |
| Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. |
