| The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. -George Deukmejian |
| I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them. |
| Golf is like marriage; If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive . |
| Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer. |
| If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane; here's a valuable tip, your life is in trouble. |
| While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. -Henny Youngman |
| There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. -Ben Hogan |
| The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. -Brian Weis |
| Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. -Jack Benny |
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. -Lee Trevino
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My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. -Lord Robertson
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| You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. -Lee Trevino |
| Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. |
