| The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. |
| A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. |
| It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps. |
| You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time. |
| Golf is like marbles for adults. |
| Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. |
| If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme Putt", you might wish to reconsider this game. |
| Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. |
| Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour. |
| It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. ~Hank Aaron |
| Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot. |
| If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockle-burs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot. |
| He can take his game to Europe, Africa, Asia or wherever he wants and the world will follow. |
| If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint. |
