| Alcoholic friends are as easy to make as Sea Monkeys. -Dry (Augusten Burroughs) |
| Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. -Frank Sinatra |
| When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -Henry Youngman |
| Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -Dave Barry |
| I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. -Joe E. Lewis |
| Work is the curse of the drinking classes. -Oscar Wilde |
| I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. -Oscar Levant |
| Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against bars, tables, chairs, and poles. -Unknown |
| It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. -George Burns |
| If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people. |
| Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I’m thirsty, not dirty. -Joe E. Lewis |
| I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved. -George Gobel |
| I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did. -Steve Krabitz |
| Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol. -N.F. Simpson |
